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Sep. 22nd, 2024 11:46 am
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Cloud Strife
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Date: 2024-12-08 05:19 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077671)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
[Maybe only four or five minutes after this.. in ever so neat, precise handwriting, rocks don't have keyboards]

If I may ask, precisely how many people here know you without you knowing them?

If it's rude to ask, I do not require an answer.

Date: 2024-12-08 05:33 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077673)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
A similar reoccurring problem, from people claiming to know me to withholding information.

Though so far I also have five I have not spoken to your newest, and it may be six. Elidibus may be your sixth in turn.

Date: 2024-12-08 05:53 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17183588)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
[Everyone who knew the name Sephiroth counted.

Everyone.

Countless people who knew, and had opinions and ideas and expectations pinned on what they knew. And he, constantly and consistently surely failing to measure up. Even something like this ... Even Cloud knew his future self, and had been immediately aggressive over it.

He was piecing together why, bit by bit.

The picture it made was not pleasant, but it was better than a void. Would Cloud feel the same, if what tiny shards of information he had about the blond were to be revealed?]


Somehow nobody can quite resist teasing the information you're forbidden from knowing.

For your own good, of course. And if to you it comes alongside the reassurance that you are allowed to make your own decisions, but won't give you the information needed to make those decisions informed ones, then you have my sympathy for what little it is worth.

Date: 2024-12-10 01:04 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17183599)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
[The response takes a bit ]

If you were intending to visit a certain location, and your companions knew there was a bomb on site, but chose not to tell you because it might frighten or upset you, when it explodes and you and countless others are harmed, who is to blame?

You, for walking into a dangerous location?

Or your "friends" for not warning you there's a bomb?

If they told you, could you have prevented the injury entirely?

We are walking into a sabotaged arena, Mr. Strife. I know enough of what's hidden from me to know many will be harmed. Some may argue your personal stakes are lower as it 'only' affects you, but will that be a comfort later, I wonder.

It seems cruel to me to tease you with hints and suggestions but then claim it's for your own good.

I have learned enough of cruelty to be discomforted by it when I am expected to participate.
Edited Date: 2024-12-10 01:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2024-12-11 06:13 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077674)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
[It's not a pleasant thing to dwell on, and took effort to even put out the original message and risk the uncomfortable certainties growing all the more worse.

But it was the right thing to do, surely, for someone who seems so isolated. For all that he knew that the three SOLDIERs back 'home' would not tell him what he needed to know, they also at least were still there. Everything he'd seen of Cloud's habits suggested he didn't even have that much.]


I disagree they will inform me, for many reasons.

It is not intended to pressure you into speaking on matters you don't wish to. I have been led to believe it can be reassuring to know you are not alone in a particular struggle.


[Taverns were not his favorite place to go, but there was always food.. either there or on his way back.

Instead of replying, he simply gets up to leave, finding the blanket turned poncho to put on first to do something about the bitter cold outside.]

Date: 2024-12-12 02:00 am (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17171455)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
Venturing out into the snow is asking to freeze, so he's taken some precautions, but he was eager to one day be able to actually wear a shirt again. Or a jacket. As it is, a smaller blanket wrapped like a poncho would simply have to do, the awkward and unwelcome second set of limbs folded across his ribs and long fingers laced over his chest to keep the things out of the way. It almost made a normal silouhette and was tolerably comfortable and not too cold, he's content with that much.

It looks a bit silly though.

As he picks his way into the tavern, taking a moment to shake off snow as best he can, Cloud's found without too much difficulty even without the wave, and the blond is studied for a long moment to pick out changes between the last time they'd crossed paths and now.

A chair is pulled out and turned around before it's sat on, arms folded across the backrest. Eventually all these chairs would need to be modified, with so many people about to have tails and wings. Might not be his first drink, the dragon supplies in a quiet whisper at the edge of his thoughts. He should eat something too. "..No dinner to go with your drink?"

Date: 2024-12-12 09:19 am (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077674)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
He should. "You should. Alcohol might-"make it feel like he's warm but- "-make you feel warm but you won't be." A different color, a different growth pattern, but approximately the same stage if he had to guess; his 'wings' were significantly larger, but no tail to interfere.

Is this what drunk looks like? He didn't think so, but he'd never really been around people with access to a lot and interest in drinking it.. Ardyn aside. ".. If you're becoming a fire type of dragon, it might make the cold worse." Sephiroth's doing his best to be reasonably measured about the possibility, gold is fire aspected, as is brass, and all that pale golden fluff could be marking one of those two colors, not the scattering of darker bronze. He had plenty of near black scales, after all. Their true color only revealed in strong light. Maybe Cloud was similarly. "... If so you should be closer to the hearth."

They are as gentle a suggestion as he knows how to make and it isn't ENTIRELY self-serving to want to be a bit closer to the fire.

Date: 2024-12-12 01:37 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
There is an answer he could give that would be thoroughly unhelpful, but he weighs it versus Cloud's slow comprehension of what's said around him and his sluggish reaction times .. and decides it's not worth it. "SOLDIERs don't only work with other SOLDIERs," he says instead, which sounds reasonable and in this situation is truthful enough.

That nobody else can hear Earenk but him is irrelevant.

Sephiroth doesn't follow right away, but as Cloud finds a much warmer place to settle down, he turns back up, with a wooden carved plate and ... buttered bread and cheese. It's cheap, it's plentiful, Angeal probably made the bread and sold it to the tavern, but that's not a big deal. It's food, and by the fire it'll be warm. "I wonder how much of this you'll remember come tomorrow." It's idle curiosity by his tone. "All of it, I should think. You can still walk." So not blackout drunk!

But there's a line between alert and everything being fuzzy the next day, he's told.

Date: 2024-12-12 02:03 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077671)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
"He's good at that." There's always more questions, and then the 'for your own good' part comes out. Sephiroth had no doubt at all that his future self meant well, everything he did emphasized that he meant well, such deliberate kindness was not something they were taught as part of their lessons in dealing with others. It spoke of long practice and deliberate effort, a choice towards gentleness that he himself lacked. Physical strength was easy. That kind of strength was not.

It was bad enough knowing things go awry at some point. How much worse would it be to be teased about it? "Do you think it's true, that you're better off not knowing, if they all think it should be kept from you?"

What was it like, to be needed? To know there was a place he belonged waiting?

Date: 2024-12-12 02:28 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17183591)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
He doesn't even know all of what happened to Cloud. It was second hand information at best, but he knew what it was like to be under Hojo's thumb. Unlike Sephiroth though, Hojo wouldn't bother with things like making sure his subject survived .. there were always other specimens. Even the little bit of care he could expect in knowing he'd live would not have been something Cloud could rely on.

"Chamomile is supposed to help with sleep." He didn't like the taste, and it didn't really keep the dreams at bay. The dragon did more for that than tea did. "Your dragon, can it speak to you yet? It might be able to help."

Settle some of the dreams. Settle some of the fear of not knowing, perhaps. Something to rely on that couldn't suddenly up and walk away. Cloud could be kept from hurting too much if he turned inward instead of wishing for his friends. .. But maybe it didn't work that way.

"His caution is ... all of their caution is reasonable, in a way. But I'm .. not really him, so what they know about 'my' future isn't ... really my future." That's a slow reluctance to admit, it still hurt to think about. The good ending, a happy result where he's cared for and loved is ..no longer guaranteed. "Might be the same for you."

Date: 2024-12-12 03:13 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077671)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
"I made a message on the rocks specifically mentioning the voices in our heads so people would know it's a dragon and not a hallucination." He'd hoped it would save from this exact situation, worrying if it's madness or real. 'Another' is interesting.

Some of this sounded painfully personal, things that perhaps Cloud wouldn't normally say. A vulnerability. A weakness to be exploited. Or.. not; they're not enemies. They share more in common than he's used to. "... The dragon that speaks to me is named Earenk Lorsvek. She sounds like what I always imagined my mother sounding like." A weakness for a weakness; he's too old to be thinking about mommy. It's a careful offering, something to maybe take the pressure off what Cloud had admitted. An uncomfortable thing deserves uncomfortable things. "He ..Sephiroth .. went to Rhadore and Wutai at twelve. I'm sixteen at least. There are four years of friendships and experiences he's had by now that simply never came my way. I am told these were formative and crucial to how he is now."

Angeal and Genesis, and who knew what else.

It's only now that he carefully sits again, once more picking a chair and turning it around so the back of it doesn't agitate uncomfortably unfamiliar limbs, shifting them a bit under his poncho blanket for more comfort. "What has he told you, of what happened to you? I didn't ask as much as perhaps I should have, but maybe I can fill in some gaps for .. what happened to the Cloud Strife he knew at least."
Edited Date: 2024-12-12 03:16 pm (UTC)

Date: 2024-12-12 04:12 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17183588)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
There's the barest quirk of a smile at the snapped words and quick apology right afterward; if offense has been taken it's very well hidden. That was obviously not for him, which means the other dragon is weighing in.

The things Hojo would do with a subject nobody cared about or would notice were limitless. "Has anyone told you what mako poisoning does to the average person?"

Date: 2024-12-12 04:59 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17183600)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
"...Yes, but also no." There's a downside to being in the labs every day for most of his life. He KNOWS exactly what happens. It's weighed for another long moment before he decides it can't have a negative outcome. "..Allow me to.. mm, provide a lesson I suppose in mako. You mentioned voices. That's a common side effect. Hearing things, or maybe seeing things or taking actions you otherwise would not, is typical of overexposure. Outright psychosis is a possible outcome, and you were exposed for years, in theory; if it is true then your strength of will must be astonishing, most are rendered comatose at best after merely a couple weeks." In some other variation of their timeline, Cloud is only a puppet, weak and pathetic and only good for what he can be made to do.

This one is not. He might be young, but Sephiroth doesn't see Cloud's lingering issues with mako as a weakness, but a blatant marker of strength. After all, the blond isn't a meat popsicle right now. He can think, he can move. "Like other forms of chemical induced psychosis it preys on your thoughts and emotions and enhances them. It's why mako is used recreationally by some idiots. A good mood is enhanced, pleasure heightened, happiness or calm erasing all else. But if there's fear, or pain, or hatred or rage... those too become exponentially enhanced. It need not be a conscious concern, either. I believe it's called a 'bad trip'."

The flicker of a frown marks that he's not actually SURE about that, but it sounded right. "It ... is possible to recover from mako poisoning and its effects. Most don't, but most aren't also still able to string three words together after a fraction of the exposure you've had, so your odds are excellent, especially if your dragon helps you." His partner will certainly help. If allowed to. "... Earenk believes that even if you can't trust your own senses, you can trust your dragon, and that it would be advisable to learn as deeply as you can the sound of his voice, his advice, his experiences, so you'll know the difference between it and a hallucination. Your dragon is bound to everything you do and he has a vested interest in the best possible outcome for you because it's his outcome too." We rise and fall together, now. "Everything that harms you will harm him. Everything that helps.."

Date: 2024-12-15 02:13 pm (UTC)
miniroth: (pic#17077671)
From: [personal profile] miniroth
That's what he's going to call it, because it is. Cloud should have never woken up. Not after YEARS of being in a tank under Hojo's care. "The most obvious answer is often the right one," the boy says quietly. "It fits all I have heard of what happened to you and also what the Professor favors experimenting with. Even I was not subject to full immersion for years on end. I don't know that I'd still be able to think after so long. In which case much of what you have forgotten ... will be the pain of those tests, and not something that is worth dredging back up." Amnesia is a blessing. "The lifestream's mercy, if you wish to think of it that way."

If he could forget what he'd endured in his own lifetime, would he? Simply erase it all?

That Sephiroth is missing a significant portion of those experiments, that Cloud's infected with an alien plague, with his own genes ... might not actually affect that belief and outcome. He wasn't inherently hallucinagenic. Hadn't experienced any such thing as hearing voices.

There's a dialogue going on here that he can't hear, that much is obvious by Cloud's words and reactions, and he has no doubt it isn't an illusion. Who knows how long the dragon's been trying to help him, rejected by the fear of it being nothing more than so much smoke and mirrors.

"I don't think they're forced. I think they picked us." He had no confirmation of that beyond a distant feeling of a rumble from his own dragon. "Or at least, agreed to it." Willing participants in all of this nonsense! So what drew Earenk to him?

What drew Ioth to Cloud? "...Mm, I'd say hello but I'm not sure that works well through a proxy. I can't say I know a lot about our situation with these dragons, but I have a lifetime's experience with what mako can do. I ... know my brother is invested in seeing you at your best," the older, presumably, "But I don't know if he'll address things as directly as necessary when it comes to you. Or at all." Guilt and all. "I have no such problems, and will assist if you wish. Between the ... four of us, perhaps something can be done about the lingering effects sooner rather than later."

He shouldn't bother. Cloud's not his problem. Cloud's the other Sephiroth's problem.

Except there's still this faint tug, that he hasn't even focused on enough to realize is there. Some unconscious sense that this isn't extending a hand to a stranger, but part of himself, exactly the way it did with the older Sephiroth.

Everything that helps Cloud, helps him.
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